


not yet found

by crisischaos



Series: roads less traveled [1]
Category: Wonder Woman (Movies - Jenkins), Wonder Woman - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, I love them okay they deserved better, I promise this has a happy ending dw I'm not that mean, kinda more like hurt with no comfort in the beginning tho, literally my gay heart I cannot, sorry about that, they'll get there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:55:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28377306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crisischaos/pseuds/crisischaos
Summary: “I probably shouldn’t ask, should I?”Diana grins. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”Barbara squints at her. “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”“I’ve never really been one for jokes,” Diana says, smiling lightly. “Not much of a liar at all, really.”Grinning, Barbara says, “I know I only met you today, but that I can believe.”-Diana's already lost the person who meant more to her than anyone else - twice. She's determined to not let the same thing happen to Barbara, who's very quickly becoming more important to Diana than she thought she would let anyone be again.
Relationships: Diana (Wonder Woman)/Barbara Minerva
Series: roads less traveled [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079675
Comments: 81
Kudos: 352





	1. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, so this is sort of a lot of exposition but I promise it will be less so once the movie stuff is past. Think of this more like a prologue? Yeah. Okay, enjoy!! I love these two with all of my heart and also,, gal gadot,,,,,, anyway the movie killed me, they should've been gay, we did NOT need Steve again, so here we are.
> 
> no beta, we write like real women (and also normally _I'm _the beta so I just kinda ran with this and hoped for the best)__

At some point it had become instinct, to reject the outreached hands of others, both strangers and coworkers alike. Parties, lunches, cab sharing (which people suggested much more often than she would expect) - she avoided them all. It was firstly an attempt at protecting her identity, but it was secondly, and more importantly, an attempt at protecting her heart. You grow close to people, and eventually they die, or someone manages to exploit your relationship with them. She’d learned that quickly enough.

It’s not difficult to decline Barbara’s invitation to lunch - it’s just instinctive, that’s all. The woman seems much too nice to get dragged into the inevitable chaos that would come with knowing Diana, anyway. Diana ignores the disappointment in Barbara’s (startling blue) eyes, and starts to walk away. Helping is only her job, after all. There’s nothing for her in personal relationships. She’s not that naive, not anymore.

It is strange though, especially to her, that she finds herself so drawn to the woman. Barbara’s excitement as she talks to Carol is infectious, and Diana finds herself struggling to look away.

Her resolve finally breaks later in the day. She watches the loneliness creep back into Barbara’s eyes as she turns back to her work, and while Diana can’t help but marvel at Barbara’s openness, at her refusal to hide her emotions, she feels something else as well. It doesn’t have a name, not yet, but something in her desperately wants to chase away that sadness again. So few humans she’s met are as open as Barbara is - Diana can’t count the amount of people on this earth who push away their emotions - can’t count them because it’s all of them, really. Even her.

But she looks at Barbara, and feels like she can actually  _ see _ her. And who is she to let this woman, whoever she is, to think that’s as invisible as everyone else treats her?

-

“Do you think you could ever love again?” Barbara asks, a few minutes after their discussion about Steve.

The question surprises Diana even more than the first one had, and she looks back at the skyline while she thinks. Could she, really? Technically, it was probably possible. It was more of a question of her willingness to fall in love again, wasn’t it? She looks back to make eye contact with Barbara, whose eyes haven’t left Diana’s. “I suppose I  _ could _ . But I find it difficult to believe that I would, if you know what I mean.”

Barbara tilts her head at Diana and gives her a sad smile. “I might.” She takes a sip of her water, then looks back at Diana and says, “You know, they say it takes two years after a relationship ends for someone to be ready to love again.”

Diana laughs. “Maybe for some. I can assure you it has been much, much longer than that.”

“How much longer?” Barbara immediately responds. “I mean, if it’s okay for me to- I don’t want to be-”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Diana says. “It’s been… much longer than you might think. I’m older than I seem,” she adds with a wink.

It’s probably not the right thing to say, judging by the growing curiosity she can clearly see in Barbara’s eyes.

“I probably shouldn’t ask, should I?”

Diana grins. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

Barbara squints at her. “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”

“I’ve never really been one for jokes,” Diana says, smiling lightly. “Not much of a liar at all, really.”

Grinning, Barbara says, “I know I only met you today, but  _ that _ I can believe.”

-

Everything hurts. It’s not a feeling she’s particularly used to, at least physically. It’s been a long, long time since she’s felt as helpless as this. And staring up at Barbara, at whatever version of her this is, isn’t really helping.

There’d been a moment earlier, when they’d been surrounded, that Diana had felt a glimmer of hope. It had only taken a glance, a second of eye contact, not even a word or a gesture, before they were both moving, fighting, and for a second Diana couldn’t help but think that under better circumstances, they would have made a great team.

And then Barbara’s fighting her - beating her - and hope for any outcome where they stand together is long gone.

“It’s funny, really,” Barbara says, looking down at Diana, who sits against the wall, more wounded than she’s been in decades. “You told me once that you don’t lie. Well, look at yourself now. Look at  _ him _ ,” she says, sparing Steve a glance before focusing again on the battered woman in front of her. “Diana, you’re  _ living _ a lie.”

-

On the island, she gives Barbara a chance. It’s ignored, and Diana’s not sure who’s more hurt as she watches the first person she’s called a friend since the Great War convulse under the water as electricity pulses through her.

-

She finds Barbara sitting on an overhang, looking down at the ocean below. The sun is just reaching the horizon, making the sky a beautiful pale orange. A few scattered clouds float peacefully overhead, and Diana finds it difficult to believe that less than an hour ago, she’d been talking down a madman from destroying the world. She walks over to the blonde and sits next to her. Barbara doesn’t move, doesn’t look at Diana at all, but says, “What, am I too pitiful for you to finish off?”

The venom in her voice startles Diana, and she looks over sharply at the other woman. “Have you not renounced your wish?”

Barbara scoffs. “Why would I? This wish gave me everything I ever wanted - not to mention the side effects I didn’t even realize were part of the deal. Who would give this up?”

Sighing, Diana looks out at the sunset as she says, “I would have.”

“But you didn’t.”

“True. Do you know why?” Diana asks, turning her gaze from the horizon to face Barbara.

“Don’t see why I should care,” Barbara says through gritted teeth, still refusing to look at Diana.

“Because you were right,” Diana continues, ignoring the comment. “I was living a lie without my powers; I was living a lie with  _ him _ .”

“So I should’ve kept my mouth shut?” Barbara asks with a bitter laugh.

“I renounced my wish because not to do so would have gone against what I fight for - the truth,” Diana says. Her eyes never leave Barbara’s, though she still has hers trained on the horizon. “You reminded me that my truth is that Steve is gone, and that I fight because it’s my job. It’s all I can do for humanity. But Barbara,” she pleads. “These powers, they’re not  _ your _ truth.”

“Because I can’t handle them, right? Isn’t that what you said, back at the White House?”

“You know that’s not what I-”

“So what  _ did _ you mean? My wish gave me strength where I had none. It made me someone who was actually worth something.” At this, Barbara finally turns to face Diana, and Diana doesn’t know whether or not to be surprised by the tears she sees in the other woman’s eyes. Barbara continues, “Look, Diana, I don’t need pity, I don’t need patronization, and I certainly don’t need you. Find someone else to lecture.” With that, she gets up and starts to walk away.

Diana can clearly see the limp in her step, and stands to stop her. “Barbara, wait!” She grasps Barbara’s arm.

“Don’t-” Barbara yanks her arm away from Diana and glares. “-touch me!”

“Okay, fine,” Diana puts her hands in the air and takes a step backwards. “Just, how exactly do you plan on getting back home?”

Barbara’s face goes slack, and she looks at the runwayMaxwell Lord’s plane had taken off from nearly an hour ago before looking back at Diana with a scowl. “I. Don’t. Need. Your. Help.”

“Barbara, you can’t deny that you’re in much worse shape than I am,” Diana says as softly as she can.

Barbara takes a step back, then looks around again, and Diana knows that she’s right. Even with her new strength, there’s no way Barbara could make it back to DC, not after their fight and the electrocution. Barbara slowly, finally, looks back at Diana, her frown deepening, as she says, “I am only going to to let you do this because we have to be at work tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Diana says, and slowly steps towards Barbara, closing the distance between them. “That’s fine.”

-

Barbara feels small in her arms, and Diana can’t suppress a wave of worry that washes over her as she makes her way back to DC. She knows that she needs Barbara to renounces her wish somehow, but there’s no clear path to getting her to do it.

The more Diana thinks about it, the more perplexed she becomes - not by Barbara’s actions, but by her own feelings. It had been nearly seven decades since Diana had cared about another someone in a way that was  _ more _ than the affectionate responsibility she held for the people she protected. She had only known Barbara for a matter of days, yet somehow the woman had managed to become more important than anyone else she knew, despite the fighting that had taken place in the last 24 hours.

-

“This is close enough,” Barbara mutters once they reach the city. “I can handle myself.”

As soon as her feet touch the ground, Diana calls out, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

There’s no response, and she sighs before turning and starting her walk home.

-

The day’s events don’t catch up to her until she gets to her apartment. But once they do, Diana breaks. Not only had she lost Steve,  _ again _ , but she had also lost Barbara. Barbara, with her blue, blue eyes and inherent openness, the kind Diana had never seen before. Barbara, who now couldn’t be further away if she was on the moon. Diana lays in her bed, trying and failing to come up with a way to bring Barbara back, and for the first time in decades, she cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> believe it or not, this was actually nicer than I originally planned. I don't really have any idea how long this is going to be, but I do kind of have plans for a Plot so we'll see. <3 have a great night, y'all


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so how about that dream fic (?) breaking ao3 last night

When Diana walks into the museum on Tuesday morning, she expects to see the same sight that had greeted her the day before: Barbara, the center of attention, eyes shining with a light just a little off-color to the one Diana had originally seen. Instead, she’s shocked to find a distinct lack of the other woman. Their coworkers are all present, each looking a little more subdued than usual, but Diana finds herself much more concerned with Barbara’s absence than the trauma of the other museum employees.

“Oh! Diana!” Diana turns and sees Carol walking towards her, completely lacking the shell-shocked demeanor that seems to plague everyone else. Once Carol reaches Diana, she continues, “The Crete shipment just came in this morning. Dr. Minerva is already upstairs working on identification, but we need you to look at a couple of things as well.”

Diana holds back a sigh of relief. “Barbara’s here?”

Carol nods. “Yes, she was here when I came in an hour ago.” She starts walking away, but not before she looks back at Diana and says, “I think she may have slept in her office again? Maybe you should talk to her about that - I know you two are friends.”

Friends. Right. Diana forces a smile and waves at Carol before making her way to the elevator. As the elevator starts moving, Diana creases her brow, a thought striking her.  _ Again? _ When had Barbara started sleeping at work? Vaguely, she recalls the woman wearing the same sweater two days in a row, but she had taken no notice of it at the time. Her growing concern for Barbara battles with the rising apprehension she feels at the idea of seeing her again after yesterday’s events. The elevator dings, and she lets out a breath, muttering wryly,  _ “In bocca al lupo,”  _ as she steps off.

“I see you’ve finally deigned to join the rest of us mortals at work,” Diana hears as she opens the door to the office.

She looks over at Barbara, who’s standing at a table, holding a small object under a light. After squinting at it for a moment, she grins, writes something down, then discards it into a container before moving on to another equally tiny artifact.

The concentration on Barbara’s face and her movements as she examines the artifacts are so familiar that Diana can’t do anything but stand and stare. If she ignores Barbara’s previous comment and the (admittedly tasteful) eyeliner she’s started wearing, Diana can almost pretend everything is normal again. Can almost pretend  _ Barbara _ is normal again, back to being the woman who had been so intriguing to Diana a mere couple of days ago.

Diana loses track of the time she spends standing there, but is brought back to reality when Barbara notices and looks up, eyebrows drawn together but with eyes that betray no emotion. “Can I help you with something?”

Diana blinks. “Oh. I suppose so. Carol didn’t exactly give me details on what I was going to be looking at,” she says, and walks to the table where Barbara works, noting with some interest the tiny beads that Barbara had been looking at.

Barbara sighs. “Standard Greek grave-digging, really. You,” she points to the other table in the room, surrounded by cardboard boxes, “are looking at the ceramics, I guess.”

It’s clear she has no intention of any further conversation, so Diana makes her to the other side of the room. The boxes that litter the floor around her have somehow gathered dust in the few hours they’d been sitting, and she brushes off the nearest one before opening it and placing the pot on her desk. Before she starts working, however, she comments, “You know, technically I deigned to join the mortals 66 years ago.”

She might be imagining it, but Diana swears she sees the corners of the other woman’s mouth lift the tiniest bit.

-

They work in uncomfortable silence. Diana finds herself at a loss for words, desperately wanting to say something while also remembering her failure the day before. She opens another box and pulls out a stirrup jar, one which depicts a man riding a leopard and holding a thyrsus in his hand. The paint is faded, and the minute details have been lost to time, but there’s no mistaking the subject - her brother, Dionysus.

Diana takes a deep breath, then says, “They’re real, you know. The gods.”

For a second, Barbara says nothing, and Diana can barely look at her. Then the blonde sets down a bead. “That’s less surprising than you probably think it is, given the whole Dream Stone thing and the fact that I apparently work with one.”

“I’m not quite a god,” Diana immediately corrects, and winces. She dares a glance at Barbara, who still hasn’t turned from her work once in the past two hours.

Barbara stills, the reluctantly, finally, turns towards Diana. “Then how-”

“My father is one. Zeus, actually.” Diana looks at Barbara, searching her eyes for a reaction.

She sees nothing, and Barbara just goes back to her work, though not before saying, “Not sure how you think a half-god princess is any better.”

“Well,” Diana says, then hesitates for what feels like the thousandth time. “It’s a lot of power, isn’t it?”

“God,” Barbara groans. “This again? Diana, I’m  _ not _ giving up the wish.”

Diana pushes her chair away from her desk so she can turn to face Barbara. “The power you now wield is genuinely too dangerous for you, Barbara. It’s too dangerous for  _ me.  _ The bracelets I wear? They protect others from me just as much as they protect me from others.”

Barbara looks at Diana, and leans back against her desk, spinning her pen in her right hand. “What I’m hearing is that I could still beat you.”

“Barbara,” Diana protests, standing up.

“ _ No _ , Diana,” Barbara says, her hand closing around the pen as she crosses her arms. “I can handle it fine on my own.”

The sudden sound of splintering plastic fills the room, though it does nothing to alleviate the tension that’s rising between the two women. Barbara’s eyes winder for just a fraction of a second, and she looks down at her hand and the broken pen she now holds. Diana follows her eyes to the pen as well, and looks back up at Barbara while she hastily sets the pieces behind her on the desk, as though there was even the smallest chance that Diana hadn’t seen.

For a moment, stillness. A stalemate. Barbara glares back up at Diana, and Diana knows their conversation isn’t going to go anywhere if she doesn’t switch tactics.

So, she does.

Diana lightly exhales, and begins talking. “Themyscira, where I’m from, is completely hidden from the world. But it’s inhabitants, the Amazons? We weren’t always.”

And Diana tells Barbara about Asteria, about the woman who sacrificed everything for the safety of the other Amazons. About the armor which Diana had found and worn only the day before.

Barbara is silent, but she watches Diana with guarded eyes and listens. As Diana tells her story, she gradually moves closer to Barbara. Neither of them notice until Diana’s standing a foot away from the other woman.

Diana finishes the story with an addition she hadn’t found necessary when telling Steve about Asteria. She holds her eye contact with Barbara, whose guarded expression was given way to dimly lit curiosity, and says, “Her most distinct feature, the one told about in every story, was her eyes. One could look into Asteria’s eyes, and they would see the truth reflected in her gaze.”

Once more, Diana hesitates and glances down to the broken pen, now clearly within her line of sight, but she looks back up at Barbara and says, “When I first met you, I thought your eyes were exactly as I’d imagined hers.”

This time, it’s Barbara’s turn to look away, and for the first time since Diana had stood up, she turns away and looks, without really seeing, out the window of the office room. Less than a second passes before Diana reaches out to lightly touch Barbara’s jaw and guide her head back to look at her again.

Softly, and sadly, Diana says, “I miss seeing  _ you _ when I look in your eyes.”

For a moment, the affection in Diana’s voice and in her touch throws Barbara completely off guard. They stand there, not speaking, barely breathing. Time is still. If there’s anything in the room besides the woman in front of her, Diana can’t see it. If there are people arguing in the hallway behind the closed door, if there are birds singing or cars rushing by or police sirens coming from outside the window, Diana can’t hear them.

Diana can’t even hear her own thoughts.

Slowly, almost imperceptibly, Barbara leans into Diana’s palm. As soon as she does, though, she blinks and jerks her head away from Diana’s hand. Quickly, Diana moves her arm back down to her side. They look away from each other.

“If I renounced my wish, who would it really benefit?” Barbara asks quietly, looking back up at Diana, her face once again a complete mask. “Me, or you?”

Frowning, Diana starts to reach for Barbara’s hand, but thinks better of it and instead takes a small step towards the blonde, almost completely erasing the space between them. “Why can’t it be both?”

Brown eyes meet blue, and Diana watches Barbara’s eyes flit down and then quickly back up. There’s a flash of uncertainty in Barbara’s expression, Diana’s sure of it. But then, just as quickly as the flicker of humanity in her eyes, Barbara is gone.

Diana’s frozen until the sound of the door slamming makes her flinch, and all at once sound floods back into the room. She looks down at her hand and tries to remember the feeling of Barbara leaning into her touch, tries to mentally recreate the crack in the wall she had seen in Barbara’s eyes.

She looks up at the door and hears the echo of the slam as if the room were a canyon and not a glorified office space at the Smithsonian.

Diana sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> take a shot every time I mention they're making eye contact
> 
> actually don't i'm a minor and i do not condone the consumption of alcohol but I like to think I'm funny
> 
> feel free to come and talk to me @ crisischaos on tumblr!! I thrive on interaction


End file.
